How to use this guide
People will have different levels of understanding around te ao Māori and tūpuna parenting ways. Find your starting point here, wherever that may be.
This guide gives you some key steps to go on the journey of Tūpuna Parenting, right from the foundations as far as you want to go.
Each step has a set of lessons and pūrakau to get you started. Follow along from the beginning to the end, or jump into the middle into topics and lessons that feel relevant to you. The important thing is to take whatever strategies are right for your whānau.
Everyone is different, and there is no pressure to get it all ‘perfect’, or to do it everything immediately.
1. Grasp the basics
The beginning of this journey starts with whakapapa, and we don’t just mean your family tree. Reclaiming whakapapa can mean lots of things, including grasping an understanding of our te ao Māori values. So let’s start.
Our tūpuna believed pēpi were born tapu, and born with mana. Because of this, they protected and respected them right from birth. Let’s find out more about what that meant!
Try this out: It’s a big deal to look at our pēpi & tamariki, and see them protected by tapu, and see them standing strong in their mana. Who are they as people?
What games do they like playing? What are they good at? What’s their favourite food? What makes them happy? Seeing our whānau as unique and special is mana-enhancing.
2. Start with one change for your whānau
Our tūpuna can inspire and empower us to raise our whānau differently, but there’s lots of different ways we can do that. So let’s consider one change that you can start doing today, and everyday, to make whānau life easier.
There are lots of ways we can acknowledge the tapu and mana of our whānau everyday. Here are some suggestions - guided by our tūpuna.
What one change are you going to start doing with your whānau today?
Try this out: How can you grow the mana of your whānau? By making them feel good about themselves! Smile when you see them and tell them you love them - our tūpuna showed their whānau aroha all the time.
More kōrero
3. Weave in more tūpuna ways
Now that you have your one change you started with, let’s weave in more.
Thinking about your whānau and what makes life stressful - pick another change to introduce! What else is going to make whānau life easier?
Many of the modern challenges we face as whānau today (i.e. screen time) can be responded to using mātauranga from our tūpuna. Gentle ways. Mana-enhancing ways.
Whether you have pēpi, tamariki or rangatahi, there are many tūpuna parenting ways you can consider and weave into whānau life.
Scroll through the ideas contained in these purākau (stories) from modern whānau, to get real life ideas and inspiration. And these stories all align with tūpuna ways. Tino ātaahua!
Learning from other whānau
Try these ideas out with your whānau!
Tūpuna parenting can be woven into whānau life in many ways. Will these ones work for you?
PDFActivity - What kind of parent do you want to be?
Our parenting is inspired by our own childhood. But what kind of childhood do we want our tamariki to have? Use this activity to help you decide.
PDFBooklet about Whānau Tikanga
This more detailed booklet is useful for whānau wanting to choose their tikanga
PDFPrintable Handout for Soothing Pēpi Tears
Print this handout for whānau to help them respond to their pepi tangi in mana-enhancing ways. Crying is pēpi’s way of talking—our job is to listen.
Related information
Other whānau who are already on this journey have shared their parenting experiences. Dive into our collection of their pūrākau from across the motu.
We have a collection of activities, games, karakia, waiata a nd other resources for various whānau situations.
Where did we get these tūpuna parenting ways from? Our kaupapa is evidence-based, so we have mātauranga and research as our foundations